Today on my blog I'm absolutely thrilled to feature author Simon Oneill's guest post on script writing...
Magic Is Murder by Simon Oneill from
novel to script:
“A
celebrity author goes on a bloodthirsty killing spree to protect her family
secret only to be driven insane by the ghost zombies she creates. An earthy British horror comedy in the style
of Carry On, Monty Python, Blackadder all wrapped up in a Hammer Film. Discover
the sex lives of ghosts in a most squeamish way. After all, life doesn’t stop
when you’re dead?”
Above is the pitch for my novel Magic Is Murder. Readers loved it, except
one who was a die-hard Harry Potter fan and reads nothing else. The darn blurb
told her it was rude crude and extremely gory, but she read it anyway. My story
basically follows Bianca who discovers her lover is cheating on her and has
hocked a priceless pendant. She kills him and doesn’t stop killing as she loves
it. Simple enough?
Then I had this brainwave – how do I get a producer to turn it into a
movie? Not so simple. First you need a screenplay adaptation. The perfect 25
word pitch. Then an interested producer. Okay, I trawled the web and twitter –
hit twitter like an aggressive twitter monkey – if you check my twitter feed
nearly all tweets are now movie orientated instead of bookish – and friended a
guy who produces and directs. As LUCK would have it - I emphasize luck for
obvious reasons - he’s been looking for a horror to make, so I offered to send
a signed copy to him as a Christmas present. He accepted. His wife read it and fell
in love with it, so much so, that the producer was compelled to go forward with
the project.
Now the really hard part – we contacted Welsh Film for lottery funding – a
small amount to develop the script together and scout locations – they refused.
The producer knew they would as the story wasn’t artsy enough. Meanwhile I
started writing the screenplay after I had read a dozen times his Script Cheat
Guide which taught me to write only what the camera sees, if it can’t be seen
then it’s not in the script.
First came the 25 word pitch, and believe me that took a week – an entire
week writing 25 words. Below is the pitch and you can see how much the story
has changed.
Murderous fantasies become blood-soaked
nightmares, only Bianca’s first love has the power to save her from a deadly
curse, but can she handle his terms.
Magic Is Murder is now all about Maldini
the magician who steals Bianca’s pendant for reasons only he knows – so not in
the script until much later as a reveal. Maldini is hacked to death by an
insane Bianca and buried in the back garden. But being a magician he returns as
a ghost to torment her into marrying him as a corpse bride – this means Bianca
must snuff it. There’s the entire story there – Bianca must stop an unstoppable
ghost from killing her and marrying her in the afterlife. Maldini teams up with
a powerful witch who casts a death spell on her. And the only one who can save
her is her first love whom she jilted years ago.
I printed out each chapter then set about
using only that which complied with the pitch. Rule 1 in writing a screenplay
is stick to the pitch, don’t veer off on a tangent. All characters must conform
to the pitch, if they don’t then remove them. That was hard getting rid of some
great characters but it would also reduce costs.
Once I had the chapters needed, I reduced
a copied word doc of the novel to required chapters and pasted it into Final
Draft and off I went. Below are more important rules for screen writers –
Never tell the actors how to act – in my
novel I squeeze out every possible emotion – stop! In a screenplay there is
temptation to use (parenthetical) to give actor directions – stop! Leave the
acting to actors, so use great dialogue and scene action to give them enough to
act their little hearts out. Bianca – “How the fuck can I remove his wedding
ring?” She tugs frantically at it. Script – Bianca – “How the fuck can I remove
his wedding ring?” The actress will do the rest.
Never tell wardrobe what to do – how many
books describe clothes in detail? Unless the actor is naked or has a specific
weird costume on in the scene, then don’t say anything. That’s fewer lines in
your screenplay and LESS IS MORE.
Never tell the director what to do –
that’s the biggest mistake – don’t use - Close Up – On – Follow – Pan Around –
Zoom In – if there is a scene say for example where there is a reflection of
the killer’s grin in his victim’s eye – just say that. The director will know
what to do.
Never put times of day in slug lines
(scene headings) – Ext. Manor Grounds – Afternoon – should be - Ext. Manor
Grounds – Day – only use Night and Day – the screenwriter puts where the sun is
in scene or moon rises, sun sets instead of Dawn in scene heading. Also don’t
say what the weather is doing in a scene unless in a snowscape.
Never repeat yourself in a screenplay.
Information must only be said once, unless it’s a catchphrase a killer likes to
use with every kill. But hard info like the colour of hair – only once.
Never describe your characters like your
favourite actors. Big major insult unless they are attached.
Do try to give characters weird quirks
that sets them apart.
Do use upper case for each actor in every
scene the first time they are in it and always have actor in action before
dialogue. Many a scene has been filmed without an actor due to lower case.
Do consider budget when writing
screenplay – if next scene could be done in same room with different set up
then do that – moving crew is very expensive.
When an actor moves into another room
then start a new scene. Here’s a tough one – an actor is in the kitchen and
sees two burglars hop over the garden wall and approach the house. This is two
scenes INT for actor EXT for Two Burglars. Also never use the word Suddenly – 2
Thieves suddenly burst from Bank – should be - 2 Thieves burst from bank.
Also arrive late and leave early in every
scene that way you keep the audience wanting more. And if you can start your
screenplay ten or more pages in and still keep the plot then cut them. Scenes
that end on cutting room floor are wasted money.
Writing screenplays is extremely
difficult but can be far more rewarding than novels, especially when amazing
actors love your work.
thanks so much Suz xxx from Simon
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