Allowing Actual Time to Write

I've been struggling to write for over 2 years now. That is, I've been struggling to finish anything. I think my problem lies in wanting to start over every new day I sit down to write. I'm guessing the solution to that is to go back to my blog post about writing a short story every time. I absolutely cannot come back to a manuscript in the middle of a scene. If that scene is incomplete I'll re-read it, decide it's shit, and delete the whole thing.

Therefore I really must finish what I start on a daily basis.

I've got to become a planner. That's not to say I need to start plotting or outlining, heavens no. That stifles creativity. And I wouldn't mind-plot when I'm not actually writing. There's no point in that either and it's actually damaging to new prose. No, what I need to do is to organise my time. 

I need to sit down and chart out what actual writing time I'll have during the day. I need to know when I'll run out of time so that I can be sure to close a scene or chapter as though it's the end of that story for the day.

For example, I was really excited about yet another novel idea so I started writing it yesterday. I wrote up notes about it on my phone. That's a bad idea in and of itself as well. I wrote the first few paragraphs of the manuscript, but then things needed doing around the house, time with my kids, shopping, chores, etc. Real life got in the way. I shut my laptop in the middle of a sentence, let alone in the middle of a scene. When I came back to the manuscript today I was over it. My sense of excitement had waned and I couldn't fathom how I was going to add anything onto the dreck I was now re-reading through.

How is it that one day I'm immersed in a fictional world that takes me far from reality? Then the next day I'm disinterested because I can see that I didn't finish what I started? So there I am frustrated that I've got to somehow immerse myself into the story again, when real life has been an all encompassing and welcome distraction for at least 24 hours or more at a time.

I mean, reality is where we'd all truly rather be. And if that's not the case well we wouldn't survive mentally.

So here's my solution. Time management is key. I'm going to use an actual template to show me when I've got real and true writing time in my day. I'm never again going to leave my manuscript to rot while real life takes hold again, and I'm off on an adventure with my kids, or spring cleaning the house to distraction. I'm going to write when I have actual time to write. That way my head will be able to stay in a scene with no distractions. Then when I come back to my manuscript the next day I can just look at the scene description notes of what's actually been written. That way I don't have to read through a scene again and get fed up with trying to immerse my brain in the same way. It just doesn't work that way anymore.

In my 30s I could write any where, any time, and I could blast straight into an unfinished scene without problems. Now I'm 45 years of age. Proper middle-aged. It's as though my brain has gone back to being easily as distracted as a six year old. I'm on to one thing after the next. I'm always thinking about writing, but doing something else instead.

I swear I can't listen to audiobooks or watch TV either. Nope. If I have a manuscript on the go other written forms of entertainment often inspire me and there I go jotting down new ideas onto my phone notes.

Well enough is enough and I knew if I blogged it I'd sort out my dilemmas.

Inspired to start a new project? I can. Just start a new scene because the one you started yesterday is finished. Don't think about writing unless you're actually writing. So you come fresh into starting a new scene and you don't have to worry about reading through half a scene you'd ordinarily have written the day before.

Another thing that I can get bogged down in is research while writing. I simply do light research only. It's easy to get trapped in research while writing, but I just have to remember that I'm writing fiction and that brings me back into the fun of it.

So the key is time-allocation. I'm going to create a writing-time template and I'll blog it soon with a much more organised post. This particular post might seem rambling, but it's my way of organising my own questions and thoughts.

I must not get too involved with diary planning though, otherwise I'll get stuck into the art of it all!